Initiation Rituals, is it okay? Options

[unsure parent]

Hello Parents and Skaters,
I am a concerned parent that would advice from both parents views and skaters views on my issue, so anyone and everyone please respond.

My Issue:
My daughter is new to a club as her old club did not have enough to field the level team she wanted to skate on, so we went to one that is a little further than we wanted to drive, but they are a great team and have excellent results in the past couple of years and it is what she really wanted. The problem occurred when they had their initiation ritual for all the new girls to the team. At my old club we always did this as well....but it was more fun and games doing things you might feel stupid doing then but it is a lot of fun and everyone the team has done it because they do the same thing every year, so everyone goes through it! My daughter came home from the initiation/team party the next day (it was a sleep over) and was very sore, she didn't say anything but she was walking funny. A couple days latter she had bruises on her body (mostly her legs). I asked her about them and she finally broke down and said that it was from the intimation and that what they do wasn't fun it was more mocking the new skaters. I told her I was going to call the line manager (we aren't allowed to talk to the coach we are supposed to go through the team manager) and see what was going on and that I didn't feel comfortable with the situation. She asked me not to because "everyone goes through and it and she didn't want to be the one left out/ dis-liked because she was the one that told on the team". I agreed, but if anything happened like this again I would go directly to the team manager and ask for a meeting with the coach. We had our break from skating (well the team at least) for July and are now back at practice again each day. They are having another team party/ initiation (the entire team this time), but this time it has to be at a new girls house, so i quickly volunteered so I could be present for what went on. Now I am told that I am to come up with some things to do for their initiation....what kinds of things do you have that we can do that won't hurt anyone (since that is considered hazing) and will be fun to do that they can all laugh at....including while it is happening? Any ideas?


Thank you!

[synchro_chickie]

This 'intimation' sounded like abuse! Do you know what was done exactly to mock these skaters? That does not sound like a very good bonding/Initiation excersise and experience.

Here is a topic that may help you with some good activities for the party anyhow!
-Team Building Exercises-

[esgrly]

If there are any team cheers, make the new skaters get up in front of everyone and perform them.

Another idea is to play charades. Divide them into two teams, and have each team write down stuff for the other team to act out on sheets of paper. They can get really goofy with the things they write down on the paper. Exp- 80's dance aerobics instructor, or imitating a celeb like Britney Spears or something. Basically each team thinks up the most embarassing thing possible to make team perform.

[yankee**sugar**cookie]

Toilet paper dress competition. Our theme was wedding dresses. Also, silly costumes that you have to wear walking up and down the street, possibly while singing and dancing.

[SilverSynchro919]

We always make up a team dance and motto. Of course it changes about ten million times during the year but it's still fun to do. And we determine team "songs," by listening to lots of music and picking the songs we like best. Like last year it was a lot of stuff from Pirates of the Caribbean and High School Musical, plus some Black Eyed Peas and things like that.

[synchrostarr89]

I have to agree, that sounds like a little more than initiation to the team. It should be a bonding experience, not a hurtful one.

One idea from a school retreat is to divide the team into groups and give each group a machine (like a sewing machine, an elevator, etc.). They have to, without words, imitate that machine and have the other groups try to guess what it is.

[synk-fan]

this idea is in NO way a bonding experience, but depending on the variety you want.............
i'll NEVER forget being so freaked out by a Girl Scout initiation: the older girls came up with scary things for us to experience, but the only thing i remember is having to reach blindfolded into a bowl of "eyeballs". it was grapes, cooked spaghetti noodles and cooking oil. the older girls made up a story to go with the experiences too.

each girl went one at time through the experiences, so the first one to go was "brave" and the next girls waiting to take their turn got to hear all the squealing and screaming which made it worse having to go last! we all laughed so hard once we were all in on the "tricks" that were so scary.

oh, the simple hazing stuff.

good luck and have fun!

[Guest]

I'm sorry but no hazing, simple or more is acceptable on a syncro team. Are these sleepovers chaperoned? This should be a fun event to meet everyone and bond. My daughter has been on 3 different teams, they have had bowling events, movies, paint ball and discovery zone type events, but always with parents present.

[Guest in the Midwest]

I really have to say I don't understand the "initiation" rituals. My daughters club doesn't ever have mean hazing events. They do stuff like a lock-in at the rink, make a Build-A-Bear mascot at the mall (and yes I am talking about mid-to-older teenagers here), and pizza and pool parties. The oldest girls get to pick the warm-up music for the year and choreograph a dance to it so they learn that together for bonding also.

Her club is a very well-respected "powerhouse" club so you'd think they would get more into initiation nastiness, but they just don't ever do it.

Good luck to you and maybe next year you can be the one who puts a firm stop to it.

[Pebbles]

It's a shame that the word "initiation" has been associated to the word "nastiness" because of hazing or other abuses. Initiations are supposed to help older skaters welcome newer ones, and to have a "passing of the flame" that allows the older skaters to feel like they've left a legacy. Initiations should be fun, should allow eveyone to let their hair down, and to build trust and encourage bonding.

All the 'make a toilet paper dress' and things like blindfolded obstacle courses are helpful in doing that. But everybody should be safe at all times, and should never be about humiliation, pain or domination. If there is any of that, the word is no longer "initiation", the word is "hazing".